While I’m feeling positive and thinking about the worries I've given over I'll discuss another; my weight loss. This is an area I've struggled with what feels like my entire life. I’m not a size 4, I’m not 115 pounds (the “ideal” weight for a woman 5’2”), but I am now comfortable with myself. Sure, I’d like to be a little smaller but I've given my worries and stress over. I eat fruits and vegetables on a daily basis. I also eat tortilla chips and hot sauce if I'm feeling like it. I mind my portions and go on daily walks with the kids and Georgia. I decided to let the Lord be in control. I'm done beating myself up. I don't want to have negative thoughts about myself any longer. After praying, confessing, and asking for help I now have a peace about it all. I can log my food and calories without stressing and worrying. I can enjoy a date night out and go over 200 calories for the day and not freak out about it. I don't want to be the norm in society. I want to be kind not only to others but also to myself and I'm on my way. I'm forever a work in progress and that’s okay.
Now for the worries I need to let go of:
- raising the girls the “right” way
- keeping a perfect home
- worrying about what others think
- worrying about if the girls will want to learn
I'm giving myself homework for the week… to work, to work hard, on truly giving these worries to the Lord. I will pray. I will find quiet time to study the bible, to read my devotionals. I will say “yes” a little more often to the girls; not to spoil them but to allow them to feel a little freer. I will help them throughout the house instead of us having our own separate things to take care of. I will work hard at us being more of a unit instead of individuals. We will sit and read about what they want to read about, no matter how much I want to read The Secret Garden to them. Deep breath in - deep breath out. Pray and let go... allow Him the chance to answer your (my) prayers without begging and whining. Surely I can do this.